Today’s Daily Lesson comes from Genesis chapter 50 verses 1 through 7:
Then Joseph threw himself on his father’s face and wept over him and kissed him. 2Joseph commanded the physicians in his service to embalm his father. So the physicians embalmed Israel; 3they spent forty days in doing this, for that is the time required for embalming. And the Egyptians wept for him for seventy days. 4 When the days of weeping for him were past, Joseph addressed the household of Pharaoh, ‘If now I have found favour with you, please speak to Pharaoh as follows: 5My father made me swear an oath; he said, “I am about to die. In the tomb that I hewed out for myself in the land of Canaan, there you shall bury me.” Now therefore let me go up, so that I may bury my father; then I will return.’ 6Pharaoh answered, ‘Go up, and bury your father, as he made you swear to do.’ 7 So Joseph went up to bury his father.
Grief is a long journey. And grieving the passing of a loved one can be especially long.
After all the dizzying decisions related to funeral and burial and the public service of memorial, the long journey of grief really just begins. It’s a long walk mostly in quiet, hidden from public eye — oftentimes forgotten by all but the closest of friends.
You’re out for lunch and you see a friend. “Hey, how are you?” they ask casually. You feel like saying, “My husband just died of cancer a month ago and you were at the funeral but now you seem to have forgotten all about it — probably because you still have your husband. How do you think I am?”
Of course, you only feel like saying that. But you don’t; the Journey is mostly in silence.
The first Christmas is in silence. The first anniversary is in silence. The first anniversary of your beloved’s passing is also in silence, except the company of those who walk the path with you — your children, your closest friend, maybe a Sunday School class.
The rest of the world goes on. Pharaoh and all of Egypt go on. You go on in a way — but no longer as you were. You are making the journey out of Egypt. You are going to the land of Canaan. You are going to bury your father.
The journey is long. The journey is not straightforward. You wonder in the wilderness for a time. Others wonder what’s taking so long. You wonder too. You feel stuck. You feel angry. You feel sad and angry and stuck and wonder why nobody calls for dinner.
Be gentle with them. Be gentle with yourself. Be gentle with yourself when you aren’t gentle with the them or with yourself.
It’s a long journey. The Land of Canaan is far. The road is long and difficult and everyone will wonder if you got lost. You’ll wonder too. But keep walking. Just put one foot in front of the other. Write one thank you after another. Change the name of one bill after another. Turn the day on one month after another. And you’ll get there.
God knows when; you’ll get there.
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